Funny Riddles and Brain Teasers

Look at the chart below and say the COLOR of the word, not the word itself.

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don't have it. What is it?

A secret.

The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?

Darkness

What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?

A chalkboard

What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?

The year 1961 can be read upside down and that won't happen again until 6009!

What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?

Your mind.

Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can't fill it up. What is it?

A kitchen strainer.

What goes up and never comes down?

Your age.

What stays where it is when it goes off?
An alarm clock

There is a man standing over a dead body in a coffin, and another man walks in and asks, who's in the coffin. The first man replies, brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man's father is my fathers son. Who's in the coffin?
His son

There are 2 guards. One tells the truth and one lies. There are also 2 doors. One leads to Heaven and the other leads to the devils playground. One guard is in front of each door. You can only ask the guards ONE question and you have to ask the same question to both guards. What you are trying to find out is which door leads to Heaven and which door leads to the devil's playground.
Ask each one "What will the other one say is the door to heaven?" They should answer the same. Go in the opposite door they say.

A farmer had seventeen sheep, all but nine died, how many did he have left?
9

Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
She lived in the southern hemisphere.

He has married many women, but has never been married. Who is he?
A preacher.

How much dirt is in a hole 4 feet deep and 2 feet wide?
There is no dirt in a hole.

I know a word of letters three, add two and fewer there will be.
Few

If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
Roosters don't lay eggs.

If you were in a dark room with a candle, a woodstove, a match and a gas lamp which do you light first?
The match

If you were standing directly on Antarcticas South Pole facing north, which direction would you travel if you took one step backward?
North

Is an old hundred dollar bill better than a new one?
No, I'd rather have $100 bill than a new $1 bill.

No sooner spoken than broken. What is it?
Silence or a promise.

Take off my skin -- I won't cry, but you will! What am I?
An onion.

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Foot steps.

There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. He has a wife and 2 kids. What does he weigh?
Meat

What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be consumed?
Peppers

What can go up and come down without moving?
The temperature.

What can pass before the sun without making a shadow?
The Earth.

What can you catch but not throw?
A cold.

What crime is punishable if attempted, but is not punishable if committed?
Suicide

What do you throw out when you want to use it, but take in when you don't want to use it?
A fishing line.

What grows up while growing down?
A plant.

What one word has the most letters in it?
Alphabet.

What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it?
A teapot.

What travels around the world yet stays in one corner?
A stamp.

What two words contain the most letters?
post office

Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white," or "The yolk of the egg is white?"
Neither, because egg yolks are yellow.

You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?
The telephone.

You can't keep this until you have given it.
Your word.

A Man walked up to his house and he heard his wife scream " John Don't do it!" and the man ran inside and saw his wife, dead on the floor. Around her was a Baker, Milkman, and a Doctor. The man goes up to the Milkman and says "U did It!". How did the man know he did it?
The baker and the doctor were both women and John the milkman was the only guy.

What do you call a country, where all the cars in it are pink?
A pink carnation.

In a certain city, 5% of all the persons in town have unlisted phone numbers. If you select 100 names at random from that city's phone directory, how many people selected will have unlisted phone numbers?
None. If their names are in the phone directory, they do not have unlisted phone numbers!

There is a horse tied to a rope. The rope is 10 feet long. There is a bale of hay 23 feet in front of the horse. The horse is able to eat the hay, yet does not break the rope. How is that possible?
The rope isn't tied to anything!

After a man had been blindfolded, someone hung up his hat. The man walked 100 yards, turned around, and shot a bullet through his hat. How is such a feat possible?
His hat was hung over the barrel of the gun!

. Why when Woodrow Wilson ran for president, his own mother didn't even vote for him!"

Of course Woodrow Wilson's mother did not vote for her son. She couldn't. Women didn't have the right to vote before 1920.

How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard?
If you are a barber.

A man fell off a 20-foot ladder and landed on the sidewalk, but he did not get hurt. Why not?
He fell off the bottom rung!

Is it physically possible for you to stand behind your mother, and for your mother to stand behind you at the same time?
Yes, if you stand back to back.

In a marathon race what does the winning runner lose?
Their breath!

Why didn't Beethoven finish the Unfinished Symphony?
The Unfinished Symphony was started by Schubert, not Beethoven!

What has holes but holds water?
A sponge

What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath!

What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time, and the beginning of every ending?
The letter "E".

Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not.
What am I?
Forward I am ton, backwards I am not.

What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
A yardstick.

Anny left on a horse on Sunday, was gone for four days, and came back on Sunday.
How did that happen?
The horse's name was Sunday!

What is once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in a thousand years?
The letter M.

What questions can you never ever answer with a "yes"?
What time is it?
Are you sleeping?
Are you dead?

The maker doesn't want it.
The buyer doesn't use it.
And the user doesn't see it.
What is it?
A coffin.

What can be swallowed, but can also swallow you?
Pride

What's better than the best thing and worse than the worst thing?
Literally, the word NOTHING

What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and Dinner

While on my way to St. Ives I saw a man with 7 wives Each wife had 7 sacks Each sack had 7 cats Each cat had 7 kittens Kitten, cats, sacks, wives How many were going to St. Ives?
Just one, me.

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?

A: you don't bury survivors

Q: You're a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus drivers eyes?

A: The same as yours, you're the bus driver.

Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?

A: The sea!

Q: What has a mouth but doesn't eat, a bank with no money, a bed but doesn't sleep, and waves but has no hands?

A: a river.

Q: A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday. He stayed two nights and left on Friday. How could that be?

A: His horse was called Friday.

Q: If the red house is on the right side and if the blue house is on the left side where's the white house?

A: Washington DC