7 Habits

Book Cover (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Get in the Habit

We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.

Effective Teenagers

7 Habits for effective Teenagers

Habit 1   Be Proactive

               Take responsibility for your life

Habit 2    Begin with end in mind

               Define your mission and goals in life

Habit 3   Put first things first

               Prioritize and do the most important things first

Habit 4   Think win-win

               Have an everyone-can-win attitude

Habit 5   Seek first to understand, then to be understood

               Listen to people sincerely

Habit 6   Synergize

               Work together to achieve more

Habit 7   Sharpen the Saw

               Renew yourself regularly

7 Habits of defective Teenagers

Habit 1   React

               Take no responsibility. Blame your problem on your parents, teachers and friends

Habit 2   Begin with no end in mind.

    Don’t plan. Never think about tomorrow.

Habit 3   Put first things last

Habit 4    Think win-lose

                Don’t let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose

Habit 5    Seek first to talk, then pretend to listen

Habit 6    Don’t Cooperate

                Be yours own islands

Habits 7   Wear yourself out

                 Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself

Some habits are good, such as

·         Exercising Regularly

·         Planning ahead

·         Sharing respect for others

Some are bad, like

·         Thinking negatively

·         Feeling inferior

·         Blaming others

Some don’t really matters, including

·         Taking showers at night

·         Eating yogurt with a fork

·         Reading magazines from back to front

7 Habits can help you

1.      Get control of your life.

2.      Improve your relationship with your friends

3.      Make smaller decisions

4.      Get along with your parents

5.      Overcome addictions

6.      Define your values and what matters most to you

7.      Get more done in less time

8.      Increase your self-confidence

9.      Be happy

10.  Find balance between school, work, friends and everything else

Paradigms are like glasses. When you have incomplete paradigms about yourself or life has in general it’s like wearing glasses with the wrong prescription.

E.g. If you believe you are stupid, that very belief will make you stupid.

Paradigms of Self

I can’t do                                                                    I can do

Paradigms of others

To make big changes in our lives, the key is to change our paradigms, or the glasses through which we see the world.

Paradigms of Life

·         Friends centered

·         Stuff centered

·         Boy friend/Girl friend centered

·         School centered

·         Parent centered

·         Other possible centered like sports/hobbies

Principle centered- The Real Things

Putting principles first is the key to doing better in all other centres

If one trusts you, the principles of honesty must be cured.

The Personal Bank Account (PBA)

Inside out approach

Commit yourself, everything changes

For e.g. If I stick to a commitment I’ve made to myself, I feel in control. It’s a deposit.

When I break a promise to myself, I feel disappointed and make a withdrawal.

PBA Deposit	PBA Withdrawal
Keep promise to yourself	Break personal promises
Do small acts of kindness	Keep to yourself
Be gentle with yourself	Beat yourself up
Be honest	Be dishonest
Renew yourself	Wear yourself out
Tap into your talents	Neglect your talents

Habit 1 Be Proactive (I am the force)

·         Be proactive, is the key to unlocking all the other habits

·         Like I am the force, I am the Captain of my life

·         I’m responsible for my own happiness or unhappiness

·         Proactive or Reactive the choice is yours

Listen to your language

Reactive language	Proactive language
I’ll try	I’ll do it
That’s just the way I am	I can do better than that
There’s nothing I can do	Let’s look at all our options
I have to	I choose to
I can’t	There’s got to be a way
You ruined my day	I’m not going to let your bad mood rub off on me

·         The Victimitis Virus

Blame others

Get angry and say things they later regret8u

·         We can control only one thing.

i.e. how we respond to what happens to us.

·         Turning setback into triumphs

Don’t spend the rest of your life dwelling that you lost.

Focus on those that are left

·         Raising Above Abuse

Sharing your secret with another is an important step in the healing and forgiving process

·         Becoming a change agent

·         Growing your proactive muscles

·         Can-do


**A review of Sean Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens